May 3rd, 1950

Dearest Sam,

I can’t-can’t stay here. I’m going to hurt them, all of them, they don’t understand, they want to do tests on me, they’re going to pull my brain apart. I shouldn't even be here i’m not crazy. I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy, you believe me right Sam? I was trying to protect you. Anthony was hurting you. He was hurting you-like he used to. He was scaring us-I shouldn’t be here. You believe me right? All I did was try to help you, he left bruises- the bruises were all over like old timess you you don’t deserve that.

Help me sam! youre the only one that knows the truth please sam.

Your brother,


May 9th, 1950


I hate you you’re pathetic. I’m glad I don't have to see your face anymore. I hate everything about you. I don’t miss you in the slightest. I miss the giddy feeling I got when I saw the lights leave your eyes and your body went limp. It gave me a rush that I crave. A feeling of superiority, I was in charge. And it was oh so easy to blame Anthony, everyone who believed me was a fool.

You're the reason that I'm here. You’re the reason that I’ll never see another tree or piece of grass ever again. I’m forever trapped in a 12x14 foot cell with food that tastes somewhat like burnt rubber. It's your fault, but I don’t regret a single part of it. I wish I had the chance to do it all over again multiple times. I hate you


May 12th,1950


I don’t really like this camp that much. It's a shame these walls are so grey, I’m a big fan of colorful flowers and the soft green grass. I miss the trees and the rain, this summer camp is weird. I’ve been to many summer camps, but this one is by far the oddest. The doors are barred and look like a cage, and I think the hallway past the white door is filled with the little kids from camp because they're always screaming. And I think the head director thinks he’s some sort of doctor because he always wears a lab coat. The last summer camp I was at had much better food. Mom, don’t send me to this camp next summer, it's not as fun.



May 17th, 1950

Dear Custodial staff,

I don't want to come off rude but this place is nasty. I’ve seen at least 6 cockroaches run down the hall in the last 5 hours. I hate the food, I think it's more about the fact that I hate this place. I don’t want to be here anymore, this hotel is the worst that I’ve stayed in. I feel trapped.

I’m sorry if I came off as rude I’m just not sure why what’s going on. So if I’m going to be in a hotel I don’t want it to be dirty.



May 25, 1950


You you haVe to help Me you have two. I They’re takinG me to the LoboTomy room lAteR tonight. sam theyre going going to kill me I’m not going to be able to write to you ANymoRe I’m going to die, I didnt do anything im not Im not crazy They cant. They cAn’t dO thIs. I lOve You SaM.